This past weekend was Easter. Much different than past years. My family usually gets together to have turkey dinner but this year we didn’t. I just finished my second round of consolidation chemo last week so I’m not feeling the greatest. I should have been having my transplant by now but things got pushed further a little. My white blood cells just don’t want to recover quick enough! We will have our Easter dinner in May when I’m feeling better. It’s hard to see everyone enjoying Easter with their families when I can’t. It’s starting to get nice and warm out here so the last thing I want to do is lie in bed. I’m always so nauseous the weeks after my chemo, but when I start to get my appetite back I have the strangest cravings. Things I wouldn’t normally choose like kraft dinner. Lots of pasta, pizza and anything with cheese.
I find I’m upset more often lately. I’m so done with all this. I just want it to be over and have my life back. It’s hard to be positive for everyone all the time. My aunt Cathy comes home from Florida this week. I haven’t seen her since Christmas, right before my diagnosis. She’s been gone since. I’ve talked to her on the phone a lot but I’m really looking forward to seeing her, I know she is too!
In the meantime, it’s trips back and forth to the hospital for blood work. My pre testing for my transplant will start soon so that will take up a lot of time. Just need to make sure I stay as healthy as possible before my transplant!
One Day At A Time 
I don’t understand when it became an expectation that you have be positive all the time while going through really hard things, especially cancer. I think it’s nuts, you get a cancer diagnosis AND all of a sudden you’re supposed to be 100% positive all the time. I think that’s impossible. You definitely deserve some days of being an imperfect patient.
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Oh trust me, I have my bad days as well. I try not to break down in front of people. I don’t like to make people upset or have them feeling bad for me. Although I know I have every right to. It’s just my personality I guess.
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